I got a good job at 26. By 27 I was supporting my mother, my younger sibling's school fees, and contributing to family emergencies as they arose. By 28 I was also carrying the expectation that this arrangement was permanent and would expand.
I don't resent my family. I want to be clear about that. Supporting them matters to me. But nobody told me what it does to you — the pressure of being the person everyone's stability runs through. The way your own needs and goals become secondary without anyone explicitly saying so. The guilt of wanting things for yourself.
I can't save properly for my own future because the present keeps arriving. I can't make bold career moves because the risk doesn't belong to just me. I feel trapped by a love that is genuinely mutual and genuine and still, sometimes, suffocating.
For others carrying the breadwinner weight in Nigerian family contexts — how do you protect your own future and mental health while meeting the obligations you have and want to meet?