Three months ago I felt genuinely good. Like things had shifted. Like I had moved through the worst of it and could see ground ahead of me.
Then last week something small happened — not even something directly related — and I was back. The flashback, the weight, the sense that none of the progress had been real.
I know intellectually that this is how trauma recovery works. Non-linear. I have heard this. I have even said this to other people. Experiencing it is completely different from understanding it.
The thing I'm struggling with is the hope, specifically. The three months of feeling better made me think I was nearly out. The setback doesn't just take me back to the pain — it takes away the hope that made the pain bearable.
How have people held on to the evidence of their progress when a bad week makes all of it feel like it didn't count?