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Anonymous Anonymous
May 20, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Student Life

My parents want me to study medicine. I want to study art. The pressure is unbearable.

I scored high enough in JAMB to apply for medicine. My parents have been planning this since I was in JSS2. My father tells people I am going to be a doctor. My mother has already started imagining grandchildren delivered by her physician son.

I do not want to study medicine. I want to study fine art. I have wanted this quietly for years and I have said it once, carefully, and watched my father's face do something I never want to see again.

I know the argument they will make: art won't feed you. In Nigeria. In this economy. In a family where we had nothing and built something through practical choices. They are not wrong about the economics. I understand the fear behind their preference.

But I am 18 years old and I am being asked to choose the next 40 years of my life based on someone else's fear.

I don't know how to have this conversation with them. I don't know how to be honest without breaking something that took my family years to build. But I also don't know how to spend six years studying something that feels like it belongs to a version of me that doesn't exist.

Has anyone navigated this? How?
1,678 views 4 replies Last reply Jun 10, 2025

4 Replies

F
I was in a version of this situation. My family wanted accounting. I wanted literature. I studied accounting, hated every semester, graduated, worked for two years, and then quietly started building the thing I actually wanted. I am not saying that's the right path for you. I'm saying it is not the end of the story if you go through the door they want first. But I also wish I had been braver at 18.
B
There is a practical angle worth exploring: what if you studied something they find acceptable while building the art practice in parallel? It is not a perfect solution. But it creates time to prove — to yourself and potentially to them — that the art is real and serious, while not burning the family relationship down entirely at 18. You can have this conversation again at 22 with evidence in hand.
A
At 18 the pressure to decide the rest of your life is real and it is unfair. What I want you to know is this: whatever you choose now is not final. People change careers. People build second lives. The story isn't written by the JAMB form. But I also want you to take seriously what you're telling us — that this feels unbearable. That matters.
H
Navigating family expectations around your future — especially when it involves your sense of identity and purpose — is something many of our younger clients bring to sessions. You don't have to figure this out alone. If you'd like to talk through the options and the feelings with someone, we are here for you.

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1,678 views
4 replies
Posted May 20, 2025
Last reply Jun 10, 2025
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