By March I had set limits with three people I had called close friends. By June all three friendships had quietly died.
I want to be honest about what happened and what I feel about it.
Friend one: I told her I couldn't keep being the person who absorbed every crisis at 2am because it was affecting my sleep and my own stability. She called me cold and unsupportive. I haven't heard from her since.
Friend two: I stopped lending money I couldn't afford to lend and being asked to understand when it wasn't returned. He was offended by the change in our arrangement and gradually withdrew.
Friend three: I told her that the way she spoke to me in certain moods was not okay — consistently dismissive, occasionally cutting. She said I was too sensitive. The friendship didn't survive.
Here is what I know about all three endings: the relationships were built on my unlimited availability. When I stopped being unlimited, the foundation didn't hold.
That's not a friendship. That's a contract with clauses I didn't know I'd signed.
I grieved all three. I still occasionally feel the absence. But I also sleep better, I have more capacity, and the relationships that remained after the shift are the ones where I am genuinely seen.