I have been in this role for two years. I have been promoted once. My performance reviews are good. By every external measure I am succeeding.
Inside my head I am one mistake away from everyone discovering I have been faking it.
Every meeting where I don't immediately know the answer. Every email I rewrite four times because I'm afraid of being seen as incompetent. Every time a senior colleague defers to me, I feel a spike of anxiety rather than confidence because now they expect me to actually know.
I've read that imposter syndrome is especially common in high achievers, in first-generation professionals, in women in male-dominated fields. I tick some of those boxes. The explanation helps intellectually. It does not help at 9pm when I'm rereading my own presentation wondering if it's obviously terrible.
For people who have moved through this — did it get quieter? What actually shifted it? Therapy? Evidence accumulation? A mentor? Some internal thing? I want to know if the voice ever gets less loud.