When I was made redundant in January I told myself I would be fine. It was just a job. People lose jobs. You find another one.
But six weeks in I realised what I was actually feeling was grief — the same grief I had felt after a breakup, after a death. The loss of identity. The loss of routine and purpose. The loss of the person I was in that role.
I was the head of department. I had built that team. I knew everyone's coffee orders and their children's names. That version of me — confident, capable, necessary — evaporated in a two-line email.
What surprised me most was the shame. I hadn't done anything wrong. The company restructured. It wasn't about me. But shame doesn't care about logic. Every morning I woke up and felt it before I was fully conscious.
I'm sharing this because I didn't know job loss grief was a real thing until I was in it. If you are going through this — it is real, it is valid, and you are not overreacting. And if you have come through it — how did you find your way back to yourself?