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Anonymous Anonymous
Apr 1, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Relationships

I was being love bombed and didn't realise until it was too late

In the first three months he called me every day. Sent good morning and good night messages without fail. Told me I was the most interesting person he had ever met. Made plans months ahead. Told me he loved me after five weeks.

It felt like a film. I kept telling friends "I think I found someone different." I felt chosen. I felt seen.

By month six the calls had become sporadic. The compliments had turned into criticism. When I pointed out the shift he said I was too needy. That no one could live up to the impossible standards I was now holding him to — the standards he had set.

I didn't have language for what had happened until my therapist said the words "love bombing" and something clicked. The intensity wasn't connection — it was a strategy. Whether conscious or not.

I share this because I was not naive. I was not new to relationships. I was a grown adult who got completely swept up in it. If this is your experience — please know the confusion you're feeling is part of it. You didn't miss obvious signs. The whole point is that you weren't supposed to.
1,207 views 2 replies Last reply Apr 18, 2025

2 Replies

K
I lived this. What made it harder was that nobody believed me when I described it as harmful because from the outside it looked like I had been cherished. "He adored you." Yes — and then he withdrew it like a punishment and blamed me for not living up to the person he had constructed me to be in his head.
B
The part about "whether conscious or not" is important. I used to be angry that it was deliberate. My therapist helped me see that some people do this from their own wounds, their own abandonment fears, without full awareness. That doesn't make it okay or hurt less. But it removed the story that I had been deliberately targeted by a predator, which I found easier to carry.

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1,207 views
2 replies
Posted Apr 1, 2025
Last reply Apr 18, 2025
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