Community Hisparadise Therapy
A
Amara Adeyemi
Mar 1, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Mental Wellness

My family said therapy is a "white man thing" — how did you handle this with yours?

I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother I was seeing a therapist. I had been holding it for three months. Her response: "Is this not a white man thing? Are you not a Christian? Take it to God."

I love my mother. I also know she said this from a place of fear, not cruelty. In her world, mental health struggles are either spiritual attacks or signs of weakness. Therapy means something is very wrong and that reflects on the family.

But here's the thing — therapy is literally the reason I haven't collapsed under the pressure of the last year. It's why I can have a conversation with her without crying. It is working. And I cannot tell her that without her assuming I was broken to begin with.

I'm not looking to change her mind overnight. I just want to know how others have navigated this. Did you tell your family? Did you keep it private? Did anyone eventually come around? How do you hold space for both your healing and their fear?
934 views 4 replies Last reply Apr 2, 2025

4 Replies

E
My mother said the exact same thing. What I eventually did was stop asking for her approval and just go. I stopped making it a conversation and made it a quiet decision. She doesn't know the specifics of what we discuss. She knows I'm "talking to someone" and has gradually accepted it because she can see that I'm doing better. Sometimes the proof of the change is more persuasive than any argument.
F
I kept it private for a long time. Not because I was ashamed but because I needed it to be mine before I could defend it. Once I had enough sessions under my belt to know what it was doing for me, I had language for it. The conversation with my family went better when I could speak from experience rather than theory.
B
The framing that worked for my family: I stopped using the word "therapy" and started describing it as "talking to a professional about how to handle stress better." Nobody in my family argues with wanting to handle stress better. It's a different entry point to the same thing.
D
You're carrying this very thoughtfully. The grief you named — for the future you imagined — is real. And your right to heal doesn't require anyone's permission, including your mother's. I hope you give yourself that.

Sign in to join this conversation.

Sign In to Reply

Thread Info

934 views
4 replies
Posted Mar 1, 2025
Last reply Apr 2, 2025
Book a Session