I started at FUTA a month ago and I want to be honest about something that the university brochures do not prepare you for: it\'s hard in ways I didn\'t expect.
Not academically — the academics are manageable. What I didn\'t expect was how exposed I would feel. At home I had a context — my family knew me, my friends knew me, I had a history. Here I am starting from zero with hundreds of people who seem, from the outside, to have some social instinct that I lack. They already have friendship groups. They already know how the cafeteria system works and where the fast lecturers are and which hostels are safe. I\'m still figuring out the building layout.
I have social anxiety that I\'ve never been formally told is social anxiety but that I recognise from descriptions I\'ve read. Loud common rooms feel like work. Introducing myself to new people exhausts me in a way I can\'t explain to people who find it energising. And yet I watch my roommates strike up conversations effortlessly and I wonder what chromosome they have that I\'m missing.
People keep saying it gets better. I want to believe that — but I also want specifics. When does it get better? What makes it better? Is there anything I can do to accelerate the adjustment, or is time the only answer?