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Anonymous Anonymous
Apr 1, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Grief & Loss

Lost my mum 4 months ago and I still can't get through a single day without breaking down

Everyone keeps telling me it gets better with time. It\'s been four months and, if anything, some days feel harder than the weeks right after she died. Right after, there was a kind of shock that cushioned things — people around, things to organise, the motion of grief. Now everyone has gone back to their lives. And I\'m left in a quieter version of the loss that somehow feels more enormous.

I still reach for my phone to call her when something happens — something funny, something difficult, something I want to share. That reflex hasn\'t gone anywhere. And every time it happens I have to grieve her again in that moment. It\'s like a small funeral, over and over.

I\'m not posting this because I expect answers. Grief doesn\'t really have answers. I\'m posting it because I need people who understand that four months is not long enough to be "over it", and that the world\'s impatience with grief is its own kind of cruelty. If you are grieving too — I see you. We don\'t have to be okay yet.
478 views 3 replies Last reply Apr 2, 2026

3 Replies

N
I lost my mother 18 months ago and I want to tell you: four months is nothing. You are still in the very early part of this. The world's impatience with grief is one of the cruelest things about losing someone. You take whatever time you take. There is no correct schedule.
B
The phone reflex — reaching to call them, then remembering — is something I still experience more than a year later. Someone told me to let myself almost-dial. To sit with the wanting to reach out, rather than immediately redirecting. It sounds strange but it honours the impulse without the crash.
H
We see you, and your grief is completely valid. Four months is not long. The 'it gets better with time' narrative, while not untrue, can create shame when your experience doesn't match the expected timeline. Grief has no schedule. If you'd like to speak with one of our counsellors — about grief specifically or just to have somewhere to put some of this — we're here. 💚

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478 views
3 replies
Posted Apr 1, 2026
Last reply Apr 2, 2026
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