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Tunde Adeleke
Apr 13, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Career & Purpose

Dealing with a toxic boss without losing your job or your sanity — strategies that have worked for me

My boss is not a villain in the cartoonish sense. He doesn\'t shout (usually). But he takes credit for work that isn\'t his, creates an atmosphere of unpredictable pressure where you never know what mood you\'re walking into, plays favourites in ways that affect promotions and visibility, and has a talent for making you feel that every mistake is a character failing.

I\'ve been navigating this for eighteen months, and rather than leaving (I\'m strategic about it), I have developed a small toolkit that has made it survivable. First: documentation. I email summaries of meetings and decisions so that everything is in writing. This protects me when things are denied or rewritten later. Second: the grey rock method — giving minimum emotional response to his provocations so there\'s no fuel for escalation. This took practice. Third: building relationships with other managers so that my work and character have witnesses beyond him.

I want to be clear — none of this fixes the actual problem, which is that he is in a position of power he is not fit for. These are survival strategies, not solutions. The solution is either his removal or my departure, and I\'m working towards the latter. But until then, if you are stuck in a similar situation, I hope something here helps. What strategies have others used?
287 views 3 replies Last reply Apr 14, 2026

3 Replies

K
The documentation approach changed everything for me. My previous employer had a rewriting-history problem and my emails became the only stable version of reality. Keep a separate personal record outside of company email — just in case.
A
The grey rock method takes practice but it genuinely disarms certain types of difficult people. You become an uninteresting target because there's no emotional reaction to feed on. Combine with the documentation and you have a coherent strategy.
N
The exit plan as the real strategy — yes. Everything else is triage while you work towards the actual solution, which is removing yourself from a situation that is wrong rather than trying to reform it. Your peace is worth more than their approval. Keep moving towards the door.

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287 views
3 replies
Posted Apr 13, 2026
Last reply Apr 14, 2026
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